I have been struggling with demons of my own for the past year. And I have been blaming it on God, again and again, for all the times that I have sinned. I kept asking God why He, if he was all loving and mighty, why would He be doing this to me. Each time I went to Him, found the courage to move on, I would fall into the temptation of sin again.
But then I realised that throughout the past year, I have been relying on God more than ever. And I read more biblical books and prayed more.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ~James 1:2-4
Of course it’s hard to be happy in hard times. But finally I found contentment in hardship because I figured that if God were to put me through so many trials, He must love me very much. God went through so much trouble of moulding me into Christlikeness. He wanted me to mature, to have faith in him, and PERSEVERE.
Patience. That’s a hard lesson to learn. Be patient with God. Be patient with myself. Be patient, because in time, God’s promise will be fulfilled.
I still struggle with sin everyday, but at least now I struggle with a purpose. I know that with each trial that I triumph over, I will be closer to God.
This praise and worship song tells us that God is like the sun among the clouds, ever present even in the rain. It reminds me that God is there all along the way. Even in moments where sadness and loneliness blinds our eyes to God’s love.
雲上太陽， 它總不改變，
雖然小雨灑在臉上，
雲上太陽， 它總不改變，
哈！ 它不改變。
